In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about the important aspects of a successful relationship.

We go from having a loving relationship with yourself to succeeding at developing close friendships, whether that is offline or online.

An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function independently in a healthy way, can we truly function within a relationship. Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes.
Patricia Fry

We are welcoming every suggestion on topics you would love us to cover, so don’t be shy and speak up. :)

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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Krisca Te.

The Mirror Lies

Over and over again in the medical journals there are stories of attractive young women who have severely disfigured themselves with self-imposed dieting or purging. They see their emaciated faces and figures and think they are still flawed and unlovable; indeed, that they are still too fat to warrant any love. Though it is not unheard of in men, adolescent girls and young women are by far the greater number who fall victim to this disorder to the tune of about ten to one.

Impossible Examples

Though roots of the disorder can often be traced to causes transpiring in early childhood, today’s culture, that insists that one cannot be too rich or too thin, has a lot to do with the insurgency of the syndrome. Girls and young women who are constantly exposed to ultra-thin body examples of what are supposed to be the glory of feminine beauty, find themselves constantly at war with their bodies so they can emulate this “beauty” – even to the point of becoming rather grotesque.

Causes Versus Symptoms

Anorexia is a strange and self-fulfilling disease, driving otherwise attractive people to become quite ugly resulting from their attempts to be beautiful. Obviously those who suffer can’t see the truth that the mirror imparts. Untreated, victims can come to exhibit all the disease and discomfort common to people being starved to death in a gulag or a concentration camp. Obviously, the restricted diet or purging that ultimately ruins the body is a symptom of the affliction, not the cause.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and Rib Removal

BDD is listed as a mental or emotional disorder that is characterised by excessive attention to an actual or imagined physical flaw. In a past edition of Academic Psychiatry (PsychiatryOnline), a brief historical account of women and body image was posted, abbreviated here:

In earlier times, the harsh environment required large families, so children could help tend the land and do chores. Fertile, physically strong, and able women were valued. In the 19th century, women with tiny waists and large bustles came to be valued. Men wanted to be able to span a woman’s waist with the hands. Emphasis was placed on female fragility. The ideal woman of the time was sickly, prone to headaches; the fine art of fainting was taught in most finishing schools. Women would go as far as having ribs removed to further decrease their waist size. Physically harmful corsets became the height of fashion.

Our Western culture seems to still operate under those constrictive “girdles” to a degree. We are probably fortunate that more women in our modern times don’t succumb to BDD, in spite of the bra-burning feminism that characterised the latter part of the 20th Century.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as Important as Diet

Of course, restoring the patient’s weight is an important first step, but the best treatment includes encouraging and monitoring behavioural change. That is, getting down to why a person can really think that she, or he, is still too fat or too uncomely even when seeing a skeletal reflection in the mirror. The patient has to address the underlying issues of control, perfectionism, and most importantly, self-perception. And it can be a rough row to hoe. After all, treatment must involve body, mind, and, most importantly, spirit:

  • Medical Treatment
    Focuses on detecting and treating the many physical complications of the disorder.
  • Prescription Medicines
    Anti-depressants may help manage behaviour that threatens life or complicates therapy.
  • Nutritional Therapy
    Helps the patient improve the relationship with food, striving for nutritional ideals.
  • Botanical Therapy
    Teas, poultices, aromas, and even supplements to offset medical scrip side effects.
  • Psychological Monitoring
    Therapy to identify and treat mood and personality disorders.
  • Life-Skills Training
    Monitoring day-to-day activity to assist coping more realistically with life’s stresses.
  • Body Movement
    Light exercise to get back in touch with the physical self and tend to body care.

12-Step Programs Can Assist Toward Personal Growth

Anorexia is about anxiety, depression, and an obsessive, self-loathing belief that one is unlovable or somehow wrong. As such, it is often helpful for patients to listen to the travails of others like themselves and how they approach life’s problems. More often than not, the whole family or close circle of friends must be a involved with the therapy to make it effective. Many blogs and websites exist that encourage all sorts of activities – poetry or journal-keeping, for instance – so patients can eventually approach a mirror and see a healthy body and a happy soul that can once again be loved – rather than the dingy reflection they used to see.

Krisca Te works with Open Colleges, Australia’s leading provider of TAFE courses equivalent and nutrition courses. When not working, you can find her actively participating in local dog show events – in support of her husband.

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013 True Beauty Podcast – The Power of Vulnerability

June 3, 2012

Podcast: Play in new window | Download In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about vulnerability and shame. “Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself.” ― Anaïs Nin Shame is the fear of disconnection. We all have this feeling, even if we don’t want to admit it. Nobody likes [...]

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012 True Beauty Podcast – Different Ages and Why We Let Them Define Our Actions

May 21, 2012

Podcast: Play in new window | Download In this episode of episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about age and how our expectations of how we have to look, what we can do, the projects we can be part of and the roles we have to fulfill play a big part [...]

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011 True Beauty Podcast – Mindset is Everything

May 7, 2012

Podcast: Play in new window | Download In this episode of True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie share their thoughts on having the right mindset. The Journey by Mary Oliver One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice– though the whole house began [...]

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010 True Beauty Podcast – Let’s Talk Feminism

April 23, 2012

Podcast: Play in new window | Download In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast Judy and Anne-Sophie share their thoughts on feminism. We go into detail on how much we think our society has moved in the right or wrong direction and what things are still left to work on. We share examples on how we [...]

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009 True Beauty Podcast – How To Fight Depression

April 16, 2012

Podcast: Play in new window | Download In this episode of True Beauty Podcast Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about depression. They share their struggles with this illness and give you indicators of what to look for when you’re trying to figure out why you’re so numb and in such a dark place. They continue to distinguish sadness [...]

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008 True Beauty Podcast – The Ins and Outs of Exercise

April 9, 2012

Podcast: Play in new window | Download In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about exercise. They share their own unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past and how they have come to a place where they do what they enjoy instead of simply focusing on the calories they burn. “The Church [...]

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007 True Beauty Podcast – You don’t Have to Fit Into Clothes, Clothes Have to Fit You

April 2, 2012

Podcast: Play in new window | Download In this episode of True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about one of the trickiest issues for women: clothes. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. Judy Garland So often, we try to be someone else, try to look, talk and [...]

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006 True Beauty Podcast – The Truth about FAT

March 26, 2012

Podcast: Play in new window | Download In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie share the truth about the word fat with you. The go into the real meaning of it and what we imply when we say it to ourselves or to others. They also share how you can work on your [...]

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