In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about the important aspects of a successful relationship.

We go from having a loving relationship with yourself to succeeding at developing close friendships, whether that is offline or online.

An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function independently in a healthy way, can we truly function within a relationship. Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes.
Patricia Fry

We are welcoming every suggestion on topics you would love us to cover, so don’t be shy and speak up. 

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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Krisca Te.

The Mirror Lies

Over and over again in the medical journals there are stories of attractive young women who have severely disfigured themselves with self-imposed dieting or purging. They see their emaciated faces and figures and think they are still flawed and unlovable; indeed, that they are still too fat to warrant any love. Though it is not unheard of in men, adolescent girls and young women are by far the greater number who fall victim to this disorder to the tune of about ten to one.

Impossible Examples

Though roots of the disorder can often be traced to causes transpiring in early childhood, today’s culture, that insists that one cannot be too rich or too thin, has a lot to do with the insurgency of the syndrome. Girls and young women who are constantly exposed to ultra-thin body examples of what are supposed to be the glory of feminine beauty, find themselves constantly at war with their bodies so they can emulate this “beauty” – even to the point of becoming rather grotesque.

Causes Versus Symptoms

Anorexia is a strange and self-fulfilling disease, driving otherwise attractive people to become quite ugly resulting from their attempts to be beautiful. Obviously those who suffer can’t see the truth that the mirror imparts. Untreated, victims can come to exhibit all the disease and discomfort common to people being starved to death in a gulag or a concentration camp. Obviously, the restricted diet or purging that ultimately ruins the body is a symptom of the affliction, not the cause.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and Rib Removal

BDD is listed as a mental or emotional disorder that is characterised by excessive attention to an actual or imagined physical flaw. In a past edition of Academic Psychiatry (PsychiatryOnline), a brief historical account of women and body image was posted, abbreviated here:

In earlier times, the harsh environment required large families, so children could help tend the land and do chores. Fertile, physically strong, and able women were valued. In the 19th century, women with tiny waists and large bustles came to be valued. Men wanted to be able to span a woman’s waist with the hands. Emphasis was placed on female fragility. The ideal woman of the time was sickly, prone to headaches; the fine art of fainting was taught in most finishing schools. Women would go as far as having ribs removed to further decrease their waist size. Physically harmful corsets became the height of fashion.

Our Western culture seems to still operate under those constrictive “girdles” to a degree. We are probably fortunate that more women in our modern times don’t succumb to BDD, in spite of the bra-burning feminism that characterised the latter part of the 20th Century.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as Important as Diet

Of course, restoring the patient’s weight is an important first step, but the best treatment includes encouraging and monitoring behavioural change. That is, getting down to why a person can really think that she, or he, is still too fat or too uncomely even when seeing a skeletal reflection in the mirror. The patient has to address the underlying issues of control, perfectionism, and most importantly, self-perception. And it can be a rough row to hoe. After all, treatment must involve body, mind, and, most importantly, spirit:

• Medical Treatment
  Focuses on detecting and treating the many physical complications of the disorder.
• Prescription Medicines
  Anti-depressants may help manage behaviour that threatens life or complicates therapy.
• Nutritional Therapy
  Helps the patient improve the relationship with food, striving for nutritional ideals.
• Botanical Therapy
  Teas, poultices, aromas, and even supplements to offset medical scrip side effects.
• Psychological Monitoring
  Therapy to identify and treat mood and personality disorders.
• Life-Skills Training
  Monitoring day-to-day activity to assist coping more realistically with life’s stresses.
• Body Movement
  Light exercise to get back in touch with the physical self and tend to body care.

12-Step Programs Can Assist Toward Personal Growth

Anorexia is about anxiety, depression, and an obsessive, self-loathing belief that one is unlovable or somehow wrong. As such, it is often helpful for patients to listen to the travails of others like themselves and how they approach life’s problems. More often than not, the whole family or close circle of friends must be a involved with the therapy to make it effective. Many blogs and websites exist that encourage all sorts of activities – poetry or journal-keeping, for instance – so patients can eventually approach a mirror and see a healthy body and a happy soul that can once again be loved – rather than the dingy reflection they used to see.

Krisca Te works with Open Colleges, Australia’s leading provider of TAFE courses equivalent and nutrition courses. When not working, you can find her actively participating in local dog show events – in support of her husband.

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In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about vulnerability and shame.

“Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself.”
― Anaïs Nin

Shame is the fear of disconnection.

We all have this feeling, even if we don’t want to admit it. Nobody likes to talk about it, which is quite natural, but won’t help the process of connecting with yourself and others.

People with a sense of worthiness have

• courage (who you are with your whole heart) to be imperfect
• compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others
• connection as a result of authenticity: willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they are
• embrace vulnerability

What is vulnerability?

Vulnerability is the willingness to say I love you first, do something where there are no guarantees and everything that has to do with insecurity.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, love and much more. 

What do we do in order to not feel vulnerable:

• we numb
• we blame
• we perfect
• we pretend

What is the better way to deal with vulnerability?

• Let ourselves be seen
• love with our whole hearts
• practice gratitude
• lean into joy
• I am enough!

We are welcoming every suggestion on topics you would love us to cover, so don’t be shy and speak up.

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

You can follow us on twitter:
@beingandeating
and
@anneso87

Thank you for subscribing to our podcast.

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In this episode of episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about age and how our expectations of how we have to look, what we can do, the projects we can be part of and the roles we have to fulfill play a big part of how we live our lives.

We share how women are treated at certain ages and give examples on people who have found all kinds of excuses and justifications in all phases of life in order to not take a risk or still live in the cage that society or family put them in.

And so much more.

Halleluiah

Everyone should be born into this world happy
and loving everything.
But in truth it rarely works that way.
For myself, I have spent my life clamoring toward it.
Halleluiah, anyway I’m not where I started!

And have you too been trudging like that, sometimes
almost forgetting how wondrous the world is
and how miraculously kind some people can be?
And have you too decided that probably nothing important
is ever easy?
Not, say, for the first sixty years.

Halleluiah, I’m sixty now, and even a little more,
and some days I feel I have wings.

~ Mary Oliver ~

Other things we mentioned:

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0164312/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

We are welcoming every suggestion on topics you would love us to cover, so don’t be shy and speak up.

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

You can follow us on twitter:
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In this episode of True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie share their thoughts on having the right mindset.

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

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In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast Judy and Anne-Sophie share their thoughts on feminism. We go into detail on how much we think our society has moved in the right or wrong direction and what things are still left to work on. We share examples on how we had to fight more because we are women and how we perceive our society and media portray women in general.

Here are a few things we mentioned:

The Hunger Games Cast Controversy

Brené Brown 

Meryl Streep in VOGUE

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

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In this episode of True Beauty Podcast Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about depression. They share their struggles with this illness and give you indicators of what to look for when you’re trying to figure out why you’re so numb and in such a dark place.

They continue to distinguish sadness and depression and they give you proactive steps you can take today in order to get out of this state.

They also discuss antidepressants and blaming yourself for feeling the way you feel.

J.K. Rowling: “Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. . . . It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad. Sad hurts but it’s a healthy feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel. Depression is very different.”

Here is a book we recommend:

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

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In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about exercise. They share their own unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past and how they have come to a place where they do what they enjoy instead of simply focusing on the calories they burn.

“The Church says: the body is a sin.
Science says: the body is a machine.
Advertising says: The body is a business.
The Body says: I am a fiesta.”
― Eduardo Hughes Galeano

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In this episode of True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about one of the trickiest issues for women: clothes.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
Judy Garland

So often, we try to be someone else, try to look, talk and act like other people instead of figuring out who we really are and what unique gifts we have to offer to the world. However, only if we connect with our innermost thoughts are we able to be the most authentic version of ourselves. Other people will be drawn to that.

Judy and Anne-Sophie are very honest about their own struggles with clothes and how to fit in while growing up. Both are still insecure about the choices they make and how others (aka society) think about that, but they are on their way towards embracing and accepting their bodies and decorating them in the way they deserve.

Tehy talk about sizes, colors, misconceptions and how we can fight them. They also share the freeing, yet emotional process of letting go off that one pair of jeans you’ve always wanted to fit into.

The video we where talking about:

And so much more!

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

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In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie share the truth about the word fat with you. The go into the real meaning of it and what we imply when we say it to ourselves or to others. They also share how you can work on your body image when looking into a mirror and how you can boost your confidence and your self-love. Anne-Sophie shares a story about her sister and they encourage you to stop being mean to women and rather unite with them in order to create a better world.

Fat is a substance. It is not your identity. You cannot be fat because you cannot be a substance. Keep that in mind every single day!

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

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In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie go into the topic of mindful eating. We explain the concept behind it and how you can implement it in your daily life.

Mindful eating means that you savor every bite, that you eat with awareness and that you try to taste what you put in your mouth instead of simply eating while working, playing, watching TV or other distractive activities.

We are all guilty of doing this, but if you want to really experience food on a different leve, if you’re fighting an eating disorder or if you are just eating mindlessly, this concept will definitely help you overcome your issues.

It takes some practice and a lot of letting go of bad habits and maybe even misconceptions in order to succeed with mindful eating. Both, Judy and Anne-Sophie are still working on it, but we can also already see and share many benefits.

Here are a few books on the topic you may want to check out:

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

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In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie share how you can find out if you have issues with food. Often, we are so caught up in our lives and our ways of thinking, that we don’t see if what we’re doing is not normal or unhealthy. We share a few points on how you can understand your eating habits better and make changes if you see that something is not quite right.

We then go on to share the next steps you can take after you’ve discovered your disordered eating or unhealthy thinking. There is always a way out and you can always work on yourself and on your eating habits. Judy and Anne-Sophie are both doing it actively and there are many ways you can do that too.

Geneen Roth: Obsession gives you theillusion of feeling everything without having to be vulnerable to anything.

Some books we find helpful:

Life Doesn’t Begin 5 Pounds from Now

Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain

Feeding the Hungry Heart: The Experience of Compulsive Eating

Lost and Found: One Woman’s Story of Losing Her Money and Finding Her Life

Breaking Free from Emotional Eating

Why Weight? A Guide to Ending Compulsive Eating

When Food Is Love: Exploring the Relationship Between Eating and Intimacy

Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder

Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition, and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves

Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders

Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

You can follow us on twitter:
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and
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In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Judy and Anne-Sophie talk about the reasons why dieting and the weight loss industry are a fraud. We explore the real reasons why people chase one diet after the other and why it is that they hardly ever succeed. We take a closer look at what dieting does to your mind and why it is almost impossible to trick it.

Estimates suggest that 80 percent of those who have lost weight gain it all back or more within 2 years. This shows that the underlying issue is much deeper than wanting to have a different weight and wear a different size of jeans. Wanting to diet is wanting to be different because you are insecure and dissatisfied with the person you are. Wanting to diet means you want to please others and it means you think you are not worthy of love and appreciation the way you are right now. Obsessing over the perfect figure means you are running away from what is really bothering you.

 Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Find out more about Mary Oliver. 

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In this episode of the True Beauty Podcast, Anne-Sophie and Judy talk about the constant harsh criticism that we put ourselves through and that we are surrounded by on a daily basis.

We go into the way we process critique as children and how this can affect your body image and your self-confidence.

We also tackle down how the media and the weight-obsessed fashion industry can harm the worth you see in yourself.

But most of all, we talk about the way that we put ourselves down and how we can change that.

If you would like to leave us some feedback, you can mail it to feedback@truebeautypodcast.com

You can follow us on twitter:
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In this first episode of True Beauty, Judy and Anne-Sophie introduce themselves and talk about their hopes and dreams for this podcast. They also share many insights into this body-obsessed world and how you can learn to love yourself, exactly the way you are.

A few book suggestions that have helped Judy and Anne-Sophie on their way towards health and developing a healthy body image:

When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Freeing Yourself from Food and Weight Obsession

Geneen Roth (several books)

Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain

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